Recycling old stuff
For the sake of all that's decent please don't vote tomorrowFirst of all, only people who own at least 2 cows should be allowed to vote. We can't have just any ol' cowless yokel votin'. Plato recognized this long time ago in his famous book called "The Republicans". Thomas Hobbyist also saw the problem in his also famous book called "Levitation".
Second, given that we gonna have voting for all, including yokels with less than two cows each, we should have a right to sell our damned, mostly useless votes, to the highest bidder. (I'm an Anarcho-Monarchist after all). As that lead singer for The Cure, Albert Camus, said "What better way to enslave a man, then to give him a vote and call him free?". Well, Mr. Cow-moo, if we can sell our votes then it ain't free is it?
Some people might thing that this will result in "bought" elections. To these people I would say...well, I wouldn't say anything I'd just let our ol' pal Reality give'em a few good slaps. At least this way the money would go to poor cowless yokels rather than to PAC lobbyists, advertising executives, and butthead campaign managers (who according to D-Ante inhabit the fourth level of hell).
But wouldn't that mean that people's wishes are not respected? Well first of all I know a lot of people whose wishes should NOT be respected, at all, since that would imply some very silly things like teachin' in schools that we are NOT descedent from monkeys. Since monkeys are cool and cute and mischevious at the same time, this would just be wrong. We should be proud of our simian ancestors. Anyway I digress. The answer to the dilemma is known as "price discrimination". This is where you charge different prices to different people based on their, or your own preferences. Like you know you'd charge a higher price for heroin to a fiend then just a casual user. Cuz the fiend needs it that much more. So if you can sell your vote you should;
1) price it higher to the more desperate candidate and
2) if you don't like Democrats, don't sell your vote to a democrat, and same if you don't like Republicans. Or at least charge the bastards you hate higher prices. This is elementary economics. If you're gonna sell out, make sure you get a decent price.
In the end though voting is just a clumsy way of society trying to make us feel like we matter and like it cares about us - it's a personalized Oprah show for all of us without the decency to own a cow or two. But every reasonable brain cell in your cerebellum will tell you that it society, Oprah included (I betcha Oprah does own at least two cows), don't give a damn and that even if it did, there's so many cowless yokels out there that there's no freakin' way a single can make a difference. Even in Bush vs. Gore a single vote couldn't've made difference. This result is called Mathematics and it was handed down long ago to the ancient Egyptians by the aliens that "seeded" them here on earth. Can't mess with that.
And that's assuming that there's candidates worthy of choosing between!
So please, tomorrow, on voting day, stay home, drink some beer, and look into the present market price of cows, since when I take over it's only gonna be folks with at least two cows that get to vote.